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Stable, comfortable... this is how my days have been lately. For someone who's been diagnosed with anxiety disorder and bipolar for the past 4 years, fought against it, listened to it, and came to terms with it, this is a huge win especially when all things considered—my low moods, agitation, worries, and trouble sleeping. I've seen better days for sure but until recently, my mind had been anywhere and everywhere but at peace.
I learned that to keep track at how I'm getting better is to notice and appreciate the daily victories I accomplish, no matter how big or small, regardless if they're something others could do in a switch or take more mental load to do. I celebrate it all and I try to stay consistent with it for as long as I can on a weekly and monthly basis. Of course, I'll be real, it didn't start out smoothly when I tried to give this a shot the first few times.
I was unceasingly insecure with myself versus how my peers were doing. Gosh, I was so insecure at watching friends having bigger lavish weddings (despite me being completely happy for my own intimate wedding with close friends and family), celebrating their first or second child, seeing off their kids in kindergarten (we're at that age now, gosh we're such adults now! I still can't wrap my mind around it), harvesting a mini garden in their apartment balconies, hiking up mountains and appreciating the breathtaking view at the top, travelling around the world, job promotions... endless monumental moments worth to be happy about.
All these milestones versus my struggle to even get up in the early mornings, something I used to stumble to keep up, felt so despairingly worlds apart. I couldn't even envy them, because I wasn't sure I was in the right headspace or had the faculties to even do the same great things. It used to bother me a lot back then, so much so, that I felt it was pointless to put effort into anything because things wouldn't work out like they always did. I had/have regrets, perhaps if I had better focus, I could accomplish these successes. But there wasn't any point to wishful thinking when I didn't want to change myself first.
So I started small, I started from scratch. From there, I pushed one foot forward, contemplate how I felt about it, and then put another step ahead. These are some of the small wins I observe that got to where I am now:
Sleeping & waking up early
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Like I said in my latest update article, I used to sleep really late in the night during my mid-twenties. I'm talking like 3-4 a.m., wake up with dark circles and still not enough sleep to get through the day. For some reason, my circadian system has reverted to default settings over time (thanks to medication, regular eating times, etc.) and I'm sleeping max at 12 a.m. or earlier these days. I can barely keep my eyes peeled open to scroll through TikTok now, glossing over book hauls and TBR videos. With earlier sleep, I’m up and running in the mornings (figuratively speaking). My head instantly buzzes with plans for the day. Getting that headstart feels incredibly refreshing, like I have total control over how things will go.
Tip: Ever since I sleep with a big comfy cooling blanket, my sleep has improved by a thousand times. I don't wake up to cold sweat in the AC or a stuffy duvet. They're also very ideal for quick naps during hot afternoons.
Drinking a cup of coffee
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I used to deny myself from drinking coffee like it was the plague, only because I tasted bad ones in my younger days (black coffee just isn't it). But I've come to realise I AM that type of morning person who needs a little "boost" to really start her day on the right track. I just feel like a cup of coffee sets my mood on a brighter note and that I have something slightly bittersweet and pleasant to sip as I tick off small tasks or read new Substack articles to fuel my inspiration to write my own. I can go on without coffee on certain days but it's an added bonus to have my reliable, iced mocha in hand anyways.
Reading articles from other writers & authors
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I AM SO GLAD I FOUND OUT ABOUT SUBSTACK this year. It's like the social media and blogging platform for people who like to read and write, talk about writing, share essays, recommend books, and romanticise just writing itself. I love it. I discover brilliant writers who are everyday people or real authors who have published actual books, and them sharing about their life, the beauty of its mundane pace and activities, sometimes shocking and bold articles about certain topics, feminism. All the good stuff I wish I knew of earlier. I get to improve on my own rusty writing too especially on days when I'm running low on inspiration fuel to run. Aside from reading books, this is also a good place to read.
My favourite piece is this when I'm in a writing rut:
Reading 100 pages a day
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On average, a person can read between 40 to 60 pages of a novel in an hour. Technically, I can do that except... I have the worst attention span known to mankind. So my daily reading goal is to hit 100 pages per day so that I have space to get side-tracked and still come back to complete the objective. I've set to complete reading 20 books this year and if I keep up with the current pace that I'm on, I'm ahead of my goal.
Window-shopping at bookstores
Okay so this specific part of my routine is more of a bi-weekly thing. I used to visit my favourite shop every week but since I have zero self-control on the books I buy, I've limited to just the weekends or when I'm dying to stretch my legs on a random idle workday. My favourite section is definitely the classics—I love, LOVE when the protagonist is a woman and the story is coming from her perspective.
These are, in my opinion, the best bookstores to take your time and browse:
- Kinokuniya Bookstore KLCC and Damansara Heights
- MPH Bookstore TRX
- The Sunway Library by BookXcess
- Tsutaya Books
That’s my day in a nutshell, but I want to hear from you—what’s your favourite daily ritual? Leave a comment below and share your routine!
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