I'm good at losing things

I'm good at losing things

14 July 2026

 

Photo by Said E on Pexels.com

I'm so done with myself that I'm willing to sit down in the corner and contemplate on what I have done. Or let happen.

For context, I've been on a many year streak of not losing my belongings carelessly as I did when I was a teenager—entire sets of school uniform, shoes, expensive bookmarks, water bottles (I know this happens very often in general), my purse (!), etc. It's gotten so bad that I wondered if there was something wrong with me in the head. Well, maybe I do, what with the bipolar and anxiety disorders thing, what's one more diagnosis to explain some of the things I do that I have mistaken for a quirky personality or other. 

But this ONE, I simply can't brush it off because it involves permanently losing items and when totalling the cost of replacing them... I don't even want to go there. Let's just leave it at that. The point is, I've always had this habit of forever losing things: whether it's from my personal body like in my hands or pockets or scattered in my environment. I either lose them or mix-match them for something else, and by the time I realise that they're missing, it's too late. I'd be too far away from them or they're taken.

Is this ADHD talking or ...?

So, my psychiatrist and I have a hunch that it may be ADHD, but before we can truly confirm this, I need to run through a test with a psychologist, and all this would take time to arrange. Losing very personal valuable items too often is one of the symptoms, among others. 

In the meantime, I just lost my brand-new purple bottle that I JUST bought over the weekend. I swear, it's the cutest 1,300 ml piece of plastic I've ever owned—it has a sipper plastic straw, a place to hang my pretty charms, and pink highlights going all over the bottle. It's different than the other industrial looking bottles I own, okay. That's just what I want to say and I lost it. 

By the counter. 

Basically, within 24-hour of filling the water bottle up and using it roughly twice, I have lost the said item.

Lmao, it looks something like this but smaller, in purple and got space to put cute charms!

As much as I am frustrated with myself, I won't blame it on me too hard. I've done that for too many years and it's obviously not helpful nor healthy. Losing things doesn't mean it's because I have little regard with my belongings, but according to psychology, it's an alarm bell for having an overwhelmed cognitive system.

• Attention Regulation: This is my brain's director which decides what gets my immediate attention. While I was putting my handbag down at the counter to confirm with the staff my identity before retrieving the meds, I placed my bottle beside it with my other hand. I barely registered this happening because I was too nervous to speak and arrange my things at the same time. I don't even remember when I put my bottle down.
• Executive Functions: These include high-level management skills that usually are helpful for planning, organising and completing tasks. However, when they are overwhelmed, getting things organised smoothly can be impossible. Being in a queue for something always freaks me out and maybe that time it got to me bad. I don't like feeling like I'm being rushed (nobody was rushing me though) and I was tired from waiting.

I usually have a system in place for this sort of situation: to calm down, breathe and stop panicking, and stick to the routine of taking things slowly. Perhaps this is that one time when it fails and I just have to own it and move on. As the saying goes:

Getting a handle on losing things is a process of compassionate trial and error.

I'll just get another water bottle. In pink next time.

My Brain Has 47 Tabs Open (And None of Them Contain a Map)

My Brain Has 47 Tabs Open (And None of Them Contain a Map)

Photo by Darya Sannikova on Pexels.com

Once, I invited my sisters for a girls' hangout and we wanted to lunch at this one restaurant we thought would be cool to try, except that there was a catch. Out of the three of us, I've been to this mall a million times and so I should know this place by heart, right?

Wrong. 

I had a rough idea of where this place was, but we ended up walking wearily for ages, even caught ourselves walking in circles once, so we resorted to using Google Maps. Inside of a mall. We somehow did find the place, thank God.

Another time, I wanted to meet my husband during his lunch break at work but I couldn't find my way to his office although he showed me the path tons of times. I remember when he showed me the first few times but the moment the tour was over, and it was up to me to independently manoeuvre myself through the crowd and find what I was looking for, I got lost once again. Several phone beeps later, he picked up, I told him what happened, and he fetched me quickly from wherever I was based on the landmark I could recognise.

I can recount all the times similar incidents happened involving me being lost in supposedly familiar places throughout my life. Instances like getting on the wrong train from the wrong platform, not knowing where the car is at the parking lot, tripping over absolutely nothing while walking, accidentally hurting my fingers or elbow from hitting something mid talking, misplacing objects I just held in my hands, among others. 

I couldn't explain to people who thought me strange because I frustratingly couldn't understand it myself. I just assumed something isn't right with me or heck, maybe it's just part of my personality. Except only when it happened a lot more often than usual and I was seeing patterns, then blurted it out to my psychiatrist did they locked in on that info and pressed me further on what was going on.

Spatial Awareness and ADHD

Okay, big words. But I'll cut them down to smaller chunks.

Spatial awareness is basically your brain's GPS where it helps you to know where you are based on the things around you.

Now add ADHD to that? The GPS would still work... just barely.

People with ADHD have a different way in how their brain processes spatial information especially in the department of understanding space, distance, and where the body is in that space. 

What happens when it isn't working like it should? You get ✨ADHD clumsiness✨

If you're often blaming yourself for being careless or clumsy as I have for half my life, then you shouldn't be. These are not signs of laziness or you not paying attention... our brains simply work differently.

There are plenty of strategies to improve spatial awareness, but I’m still a work in progress. I’ll definitely share the ones that actually work for me once I’ve tested them out! For now, though, I’m focusing on cutting myself some slack when I lose my way. If you’re in the same boat, remember: there’s no shame in needing a little help, even if it’s just navigating to your favorite store. You aren't alone in this, and you definitely don’t have to have it all figured out right now.