I'm serious when I say this, but I wouldn't recognise the "me" that I was months ago and the version who is typing now. This time, I had a revelation and I don't think I can ever look back on this, at least, not without great hesitation. Of course, it could be the Bipolar speaking and I'm just entertaining the usual high moods that come and go as it pleases, as it always does. But what if this time, I've finally found something similar to reading—a once abandoned hobby that I loved so much since I could pick up a book and discovered again just years ago—something that will stick with me for good because it's what's been missing in my life for the past few years???
What I'm talking about is learning and I don't mean like enrolling myself for another master's degree (maybe not yet) but curating my own lifelong learning curriculum that would keep my mind alive. What makes us human is having a natural sense of curiosity to things we don't understand. "We are natural learners" and evolve as we learn and see the world around us with changed perspective. I don't know why I thought learning starts and ends in a school or inside a lecture hall, and life just goes on to something else. I realised that I've never been over that part. I have, as I regret to say, spend the last four years drifting in and out of life doing the same routine, and while I will admit my life has been fortunately comfortable, it doesn't feel complete. I feel like there's more to this than have time wear me down with me not winning any benefit from it other than let it passes me by.
I've been reading Abigail by Magda Szabó these past two weeks and the majority of the story takes place in an all-girls' school, and I especially LOVE the parts about them focused on studying. It got me wishing, "Gee, I wish I could join them and study!". I opened TikTok and quite frankly stumbled across the treasure hove that is women and their personal learning experience on the app. There is so much sharing on learning resources, books to read, new hobbies, topics to explore and study, monthly study themes, podcasts to listen to, oh I can go on and on. It all comes down to the fact that there's so much I don't know out there, things I wish I studied in my earlier life if I had more time back then (if that was even possible because degree life was PACKED) and for once, I have a solid goal, a challenge I want to put as much energy as I want into. What's clear is that it's a reminder that we can really learn anything we want if we let our curiosity loose!
For me, I want to study from where I left off last: critical discourse studies with a focus on health. I've created a rough draft of my October schedule which includes daily essays and journal articles to read and reflect, primary book sources to study, and tasks/homework. I've taken care to set aside some hours for leisure reading too because my TBR book piles are humongous, I don't want to set aside my casual reading hobby aside, as well as my blogging/writing on Substack. Wish me luck!
Post a Comment